How to even begin this post. We kinda figured this may happen someday - maybe? Most of our navigation in the system has been, well, we just never know. Sometimes it feels like it really just depends who you talk to on what info you are given. We were told, when we brought N home, that we could give him a name. We knew that name wasn't legal. We knew that we needed to use his given name around the house so that he was familiar with it...and we have done that. As he has gotten older I have thought long and hard about this whole name thing. How confusing would it be for him to be returned back to his bio mom and never hear the name we have given him, again? Would that be weird for him? Yes, I think so.
We recently had a visit from DCFS for our Foster License Renewal. The visit went really well - she was very sweet, kind, and thorough. For those of you that have been to our house you know that most everything is in lockdown mode now. REALLY kid proofed. Mostly because he gets into everything, but a lot is just required as a Foster family. Well, turns out that there were a few more things we STILL needed to do. Yes, really. Minor stuff though - I should be able to take care of them by the end of the week and we will be good for another 3 years. Yea!!
One thing that came up was the name. (sigh) So, after much discussion we are reverting back to his given name. From this moment forward, as hard as it will be for us, we will no longer be using N as his name. I am sure it will take some time for us all, but please start to use S. He knows it - it is familiar to him. And, honestly, it is a sign of respect - and I get that. I think that part of us naming him was something that belonged to us - and, as Foster parents, he doesn't belong to us.
Kev and I were talking about it tonight. Crying and sighing, too. We have always been pretty open with people and told them his given name was S. (Please let me know if you don't know the name - I just don't want it on the internet) A name means everything - and nothing. Just because we are calling him a different name doesn't mean he is a different little boy. It does mean everything to his bio mom though - family, heritage, and culture. So, so important. And, honestly, it is a really cool name. When he is in school he will be the only one with that name!
So, please, don't be taken aback when we correct you if you use "N" the next time you see our little sweetie. We understand it will take time.
On a side note, there haven't been, as far as we know, any changes in his case. Please continue to pray for his mom and us as a family. We have loved this little break we have gotten. S's schedule has really settled down. I had no idea that his visits were kind of messing up his sleep - but he has slept through almost every night for the last month or so...I think he has only gotten up 3 times that whole time. In the past he was up 3 and 4 nights/week. Ahhh. So nice.
