Apples or Blueberries?

Everything that is round, to N, is either an apple or a ball. Most times, an apple. Oblong things go in that catagory, as well. We have been working on words with him - it is crazy how quickly he will pick something up from us! Well, when he wants to. So this morning I was feeding him breakfast and added some blueberries to his yogurt and cereal. He LOVES blueberries. He kept calling them apples, though. So, being the patient mama I am, I kept telling him they were "blueberries." Every time he said "apple" I responded "blueberry." And, you know when you are trying to help teach someone a new word, how you slow down and annunciate the word? Well, he did the same thing! I said "bluuuee beerrryyy...." and he looked at me like I was from Mars and said "aaaapppllle." I just laughed and that was the end of that. He will get it when he gets it. At least notices that things are round. Kind of.

We had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas season. Thanksgiving was at my Dad's with most of my siblings and my brother in law's brother. It was one of the best Thanksgivings that we can remember - since mom has been gone, at least. Just laid back and easy. Well, easy for us - we just showed up and enjoyed company and food. My dad and brother are great cooks and really put together a wonderful dinner. We missed having Michelle and her little family there...but they came home for Christmas! Yea! Christmas was a whirlwind, but a lot of fun. Kevin was able to take an extra day off so was home for 5 days! Lots of family time...We went to Christmas Eve service at our church and had Kevin's family over to our house for gifts and dinner. His niece had the stomach flu so she didn't some - Christmas with the DeKoster's, take two with Kristina, will be on New Year's Eve. Then it was more time with family on Christmas Day and down my my Dad's on the 26th. N did really well - we tried to be as low key as we could and not to rush about. To enjoy our time - and we did it! N really still just loves boxes. He wasn't even into the wrap all that much - but boxes, man, they are the best. I had to move a few downstairs as he figured out that you can put one box on another and then add a ball for fun climbing adventures.

We got hard news yesterday afternoon. It caught us off guard as the visits with bio mom have been a little out of sync the last few weeks. N's visit hours will almost be doubled starting next week. I haven't talked to his SW, so really don't know the reasoning, but we just have to trust that this is the way it is supposed to happen. I cried solid for almost an hour after I dropped him off last night. I think a lot of it is just being my emotional self and tired...I really know that God has a plan for us and N. And his bio mom. The news was just a little disheartening. So, trying to look at positive side of things. This will give his bio mom the opportunity to spend more time with him - to be able to get his routine down. It will give me more time at home to get stuff done, exercise, clean - whatever. I think I have almost 8 hours for one of the blocks. I can't even imagine what I can get done with all that time!! And I will keep busy - if I  am idle I will go bonkers with worry over N. So, pray for us during this new transition. Big stuff for our family.

Worry...

Sometimes, it seems, there are days that are smooth sailing and days that are not. I am not really saying that our days are hard - they usually aren't. Well, aside from the trying to juggle every day life with visitations. But that has kinda turned into every day life for us.

This time last year we were unsure if we would have N for Christmas. I remember I was just a bundle of nerves. I wanted to plan things, but was afraid that I was assuming to much. This year, we are pretty sure we will have him, but we struggle with the thought that this is our last Christmas with him. I don't know which is better - or worse. We are trying to plan fun things with him and do things slowly - to savor the season - but we both feel like it is flying by and it is slipping from our fingers. We know that this might not be the case...we might have more time with him than we think, but we worry. We were watching something the other night and there was a line that stuck out to us. What our problem is we "know to much about the unknowns." We know what probably lies ahead. And we think about it WAY to much.

So that is what has been making these delightful days a little hard for us. Again, if anyone knows that "how to make time stand still" trick, please pass it onto us. We are trusting God for N's future - that is never up for grabs. It is just the in between stuff that gets to us every now and then.

In the meantime we are decorating and playing games with the sweet little boy. I made him a little felt tree with ornaments that he re-decorates several times a day. He loves all the lights - we are getting our tree this weekend and can't wait to put it up with him. Just getting a little one and letting him have at it! We took him up to the lighted parade in Lynden last weekend and he was enthralled by all the tractors and trucks with light on them. Kept pointing to them and saying "wow" and "ohhhhh." I thought it would wear off on him after a couple tractors, but it didn't. Such a treat.

Blessings to you this Christmas Season!