Kevin took part of last Friday off and we hopped on a ferry and went to Friday Harbor. It was a glorious day - one of those days that I am so thankful I live in the PNW. It was clear, everything was so green, the water was calm and we could see the mountains. It was warm, too! This was a much needed trip for us - just to get out of town and enjoy time together. N did great - the ferry ride was a definite highlight for him. He loves walking and when wind is added he is so happy. All smiles. We walked him around and around the ferry. Then we walked around Friday Harbor and, of course, had ice cream down at the harbor. This is where N found a spider friend. He seems to have this things for bugs. I am trying so hard not to freak out and smash them - he, generally, won't touch. Just kind of leans over and looks at them real close like. At least that is what he used to do. This spider was different though. He needed to touch it...and then roll it around and look some more. I remained calm and let him play with it - and then when he wasn't looking I quickly moved it away. He looked back and spider was all gone! So sad. :) Not really. Then back onto the ferry for more walking. We were ALL exhausted when we got home, but it was the best day.
One of N's most favorite things right now is to play with his trucks and cars. I finally moved them into their own basket in the living room/TOY room. He just kept pulling them out of his toy basket anyways - might as well give them their own home. He zooms them around the living room and kitchen - usually two at a time - making zoomy car noises as he goes. Then he examines the underside of them to make sure they are working ok - and off again he goes. This has been one of my favorite things of being a parent - watching him learn. I had no idea that would be so cool. I love watching him make connections and put things together - it is amazing.
We think that this week the 3x/week visits will finally start. They were supposed to begin weeks ago but there have been complications every week. Next week the schedule changes, again - one of his sister's starts school. So we will see what that brings.
Boogies. Oh yea. N is sick right now. I think just a head cold, but sick all the same. Lots of boogies right now. Boogie here. Boogies there. Boogies everywhere. N HATES his nose being wiped, too. He will race away and try to hide from us if he sees us with a boogie wipe. (I love those Boogies wipes! I know they are a bit on the pricey side, but I.LOVE.THEM.) He seems to be a on the mend today - we did lots of horsey rides this afternoon. That must be a good sign.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Waiting, waiting, waiting
About a month ago, or so, we started teaching N baby sign language. He picked it up right away - which is amazing. I forgot to teach him the sign for "waiting" though - so we have started that recently. And, of course, he picked it up right away. He has about 5 words right now: Mama, Dadadada, (somestimes Papa, too...but that is pretty rare), up, car, and wow. Yes, wow. Isn't that funny? We think so. His favorite game is "chase" with Papa. Kevin runs around and pretends to chase N and he runs right to me - laughing this deep belly chortle that he has just started. They can play this forever...it makes my heart happy.
The visits were ordered to be increased, but they haven't been able to get things squared away to make it happen. This also makes me happy. Is that so bad? I don't think so - just gives us more time with the little guy.
I was cleaning out some things this past week and I came across some sermon notes from a long time ago. The sermon was from a guest speaker from our church that is a Young Life Director - he now lives in Colorado with his wife and kids. Still works with Young Life. OK - onto the sermon. It was just one of those things I needed to find at that moment. I started to read my notes and was in tears in seconds. The sermon was about "waiting for God" and walking forward in faith. Hmm. Not knowing what God has in store for us, but being faithful that He has our best in mind and to keep moving forward - knowing that He will direct us.
God has been so very faithful in my life - our lives. I never thought I would get married - always wanted to, but it just didn't seem to be in cards for me. I waited. Moved forward with my life and continued to trust that God knew my heart and whatever happened would be what He wanted. I met Kevin in my early-30's...and waited. We spent a long time getting to know each other and FINALLY got married when we were both 38. Long time, but worth the wait. Again, God knew what was best for me. Then we began to try to start a family. Miscarriages and lots of tears - and waiting. We decided to adopt - and then lots more waiting. Some families seem to gets kids quickly...not us. We have been "in process" for over 5 years. And now we wait to see what God has in mind for us and our journey to have a family. N has been such a blessing for us - he brings us such joy in the midst of all this waiting. Isn't that just how God works though?
So, as I teach N the sign for waiting (wiggly fingers pointed upwards) I am reminded that God is in the lead here. He knows our hearts and knows we are waiting.
The visits were ordered to be increased, but they haven't been able to get things squared away to make it happen. This also makes me happy. Is that so bad? I don't think so - just gives us more time with the little guy.
I was cleaning out some things this past week and I came across some sermon notes from a long time ago. The sermon was from a guest speaker from our church that is a Young Life Director - he now lives in Colorado with his wife and kids. Still works with Young Life. OK - onto the sermon. It was just one of those things I needed to find at that moment. I started to read my notes and was in tears in seconds. The sermon was about "waiting for God" and walking forward in faith. Hmm. Not knowing what God has in store for us, but being faithful that He has our best in mind and to keep moving forward - knowing that He will direct us.
God has been so very faithful in my life - our lives. I never thought I would get married - always wanted to, but it just didn't seem to be in cards for me. I waited. Moved forward with my life and continued to trust that God knew my heart and whatever happened would be what He wanted. I met Kevin in my early-30's...and waited. We spent a long time getting to know each other and FINALLY got married when we were both 38. Long time, but worth the wait. Again, God knew what was best for me. Then we began to try to start a family. Miscarriages and lots of tears - and waiting. We decided to adopt - and then lots more waiting. Some families seem to gets kids quickly...not us. We have been "in process" for over 5 years. And now we wait to see what God has in mind for us and our journey to have a family. N has been such a blessing for us - he brings us such joy in the midst of all this waiting. Isn't that just how God works though?
So, as I teach N the sign for waiting (wiggly fingers pointed upwards) I am reminded that God is in the lead here. He knows our hearts and knows we are waiting.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Moving forward with hopeful hearts...
Seems like I am doing this kind of backwards. I was told, when we brought N home from the hospital, that I should start a blog on our foster/adopt journey. Now, as we are beginning to prepare for reunification, I am finally starting a blog about our road with the sweet baby boy.
His visits with his bio mom have increased from two days a week to three - which is a hard transition for us all. He isn't sleeping well on his visit nights and we are in "recovery" the day after. He is so easy going - I know it could be a lot worse. Me? Kevin? We are having a tough time with it, as well. That is to be expected, I guess. We are really, REALLY trying to look at the positive of it all. God brought N to us for a reason - we took care of him and raised him when his bio mom couldn't. He is a very happy, well adjusted baby boy that knows what it is like to be loved. That is huge. As I watched his bio mom walk away yesterday I thought to myself that she looks good - healthy, even. And that calmed me down.
I am reading a book by Ann Voskamp during N'a visit time/s. Yesterday the section I was reading on was about learning to be thankful in the moment (which is really the whole premise of the book). It really struck me though - she was writing about how when we are thankful for what is going on in the moment time slows down a bit. Or a lot - depending on how fast you are going. Both Kevin and I have been concentrating so much on the future right now. What will happen next week, next month, will we even have N in two months? Those thoughts put such a damper on the day...That isn't to say that we shouldn't plan ahead, but maybe should really try to concentrate on little moments we have with N. Who knows what God has in store for us in the next few months. It doesn't do us any good to wonder about the "ifs" in the next couple months. I told Kevin the other day that I really just wanted time to stand still for a little bit. Maybe this is God's way of reminding me to savor the time I do have with N and to be so very thankful for each little thing. Every toy I step on, a squirmy little boy when it is nap time, blueberries on the carpet, snuggles in the middle of the night. All that is good!
His visits with his bio mom have increased from two days a week to three - which is a hard transition for us all. He isn't sleeping well on his visit nights and we are in "recovery" the day after. He is so easy going - I know it could be a lot worse. Me? Kevin? We are having a tough time with it, as well. That is to be expected, I guess. We are really, REALLY trying to look at the positive of it all. God brought N to us for a reason - we took care of him and raised him when his bio mom couldn't. He is a very happy, well adjusted baby boy that knows what it is like to be loved. That is huge. As I watched his bio mom walk away yesterday I thought to myself that she looks good - healthy, even. And that calmed me down.
I am reading a book by Ann Voskamp during N'a visit time/s. Yesterday the section I was reading on was about learning to be thankful in the moment (which is really the whole premise of the book). It really struck me though - she was writing about how when we are thankful for what is going on in the moment time slows down a bit. Or a lot - depending on how fast you are going. Both Kevin and I have been concentrating so much on the future right now. What will happen next week, next month, will we even have N in two months? Those thoughts put such a damper on the day...That isn't to say that we shouldn't plan ahead, but maybe should really try to concentrate on little moments we have with N. Who knows what God has in store for us in the next few months. It doesn't do us any good to wonder about the "ifs" in the next couple months. I told Kevin the other day that I really just wanted time to stand still for a little bit. Maybe this is God's way of reminding me to savor the time I do have with N and to be so very thankful for each little thing. Every toy I step on, a squirmy little boy when it is nap time, blueberries on the carpet, snuggles in the middle of the night. All that is good!
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